The Future

the future

Have you ever wondered what your future holds for you? Well, WONDER NO LONGER! Presented here for the first time ever are the foretellings of that revered prophet, radio funster Allan P. Jossstone:

'When the changing of the calendar,

Ushers in a new decade,

And the year 2010 is upon us,

The great hog Brown shall lose his glass eye,

And a pillow-faced Etonian called David Cameron,

Shall have some success at the ballot box,

Although I'll be voting for one of those joke parties,

Because I have no respect for the democratic process.'

'When the number twenty,

Is put before the number ten,

And the ceremony of innocence is drown-ed,

Some other events will happen in the world,

Bringing forth the great wrath of the Mock the Week team,

Particularly Frankie Boyle,

Who will probably be releasing a new DVD,

In time for next Christmas.'

'Whatever you have to add together,

To get the number that is next year,

By which I mean, the number 2010,

But I don't mean the number, I mean the year,

A great cloud of rain shall pass over Glasgow,

And drizzle on the heads,

Of whoever is out walking that day,

Unless they carry umbrellas.'

'You know how, right, next year is 2010,

Right?

Well a lot of people,

Might think it's still 2009,

If they don't buy a new calendar,

That reminds me of a funny story, actually,

Well, it's not so much funny,

As painfully embarrassing (I accidentally had sex with my brother).'

Posted at 03:41, 15th November 2009