Top news: Egypt still protesting
Non news. Man urinates on cash machine. Students take laundry home; Paper Mache divided on the issue
Battle of the brat tatts: Oor Wullie vs Dennis the Menace
Ruth and Nikky have no heart. No love lost for baby that got blown into river
The Mail "invents" "news" again: Derby City Council doesn't spend £1200 on new bus stop on route with no buses
Romainian zoos lose more than 150 animals. Vampire bat never found
George wants his kebabs regulated; he's sick of sticky fingers
Ruth dreams of a battery free utopia
Married dad with parkinsons claims treatment turned him into a cross dressing, thieving, gambling gay sex addict.
Town or newspaper quiz. Can Nikky draw even?
Ruths pick of the week: Witch doctor curses pigeon with voo-doo
And the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress goes to Helena Possum Carter
Have you seen this woman? Wanted for forcing children to chew pennies in Thurso. Reward: Peace of mind
Court cheat, card cheat: Tommy Sheridan plays cards in jail
Malawi kicks up a stink; bans farting in public
Condoms! Children! Prison! Outrage!