The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // news

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart
episodes
27th June 2013
Summer Special - The Awkward Sons in Berlin
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21st January 2013
S03 E10: A Skull Full of Maggots
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7th January 2013
S03 E09: Cunt on the Checkout
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10th December 2012
S03 E08: The Best of 2012 (Part 2)
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27th November 2012
S03 E07: The Best of 2012 (Part 1)
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12th November 2012
S03 E06: The Burgled Urn
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older The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart episodes

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s03 e06: the burgled urn

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 12.11.12 // S03 E06: The Burgled Urn

So, we’ve got a fucking embarrassment of riches for you tonight. But what’s new, eh?

Get in about this lot…

A cut from Horace’s stunning, recently rescued 1971 demo, described by Byron Coley as, “One of the best rural psych records from the UK ever. No shit.”

Dariush Dolat-Shahi throwing a modular synth in amongst Iranian folk music. In 1985. Good work.

Loren Connors and Christina Carter turning on the waterworks for John Fahey.

Alva Noto and Byetone going 4/4 as fuck as Diamond Version.

Lee Gamble building psychedelic drones form old jungle records.

And an alcoholic saxophonist and a drummer without a kit making a record in the woods.

Heady days.

Posted at 19:53, 12th November 2012

s03 e05: knee-deep in book perv

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 02.11.12 // S03 E05: Knee-Deep In Book Perv

So, your favourite Awkward hour is at the one-off time of 1.00pm today. Prime lunch-break listening, innit.

And if you're still craving more Awkward minutes, we'll be playing with the great Ed Schraders's Music Beat and World Peace at Sleazy's tonight from 8.00pm. Total flatline industrial stink for lovers. Get on it!

But for now, stick this down your face pipe...

Head-spinning psychedelic concrète from Bernard Parmegiani, sounding like he's trying out for late-period Coil. Wild.

Seasick whaling song action from old Ahab-balls himself, A. L. Lloyd.

Fire-damaged sax/guitar abuse from Arthur Doyle and Rudolph Grey, complete with the perfect 1980s grubby basement fidelity.

Scalpel-sharp and deeply drugged post-Pan Sonic techno from Rrose.

And a cut from the record Acid Archives listed as one of the top ten private press LPs most likely to be owned by a serial killer.

The Mercurys can lick our fucking loins.

Posted at 10:26, 2nd November 2012

s03 e04: future hooker butcher

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 15.10.12 // S03 E04: Future Hooker Butcher

Another fortnight passes and we're still getting our heads round the huge pile of records, tapes and CDs we seem to have acquired in the last month.

It's definitely an addiction.

But there's no track marks, only minimal vomiting and one of us is still allowed to be left alone with kids.

(Guess who.)

So, tonight's celebration of dependence will go something like this...

Brilliantly fucked modern minimal wave from Silvia Kastel's new 7", super primitive and super fuzzed industrial Ozzie garage from East Link's great new tape, Mars absolutely levelling the place during their penultimate gig (recorded from the crowd by Brian Eno), head-spinning late '90s techno from Regis, Storm Bugs sounding amazingly like Throbbing Gristle, Peter Brötzmann sounding like he's fronting a metal band and the Willenette Gospel Singers going on and on about Christ.

Phew!

Cook it up.

Posted at 16:23, 15th October 2012

s03 e03: high street hip-sniffer

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 01.10.12 // S03 E03: High Street Hip-Sniffer

Remember when The Awkward Sons was a well-oiled, scantily-clad Gemini operation, with Tony's pre-teen Geordie squeal making the dread seem a little less absolute?

Well, in the spirit of a seemingly endless obsession with nostalgia, it's back to the good old days. Morrow has returned.

It's like those death metal bands who got all experimental in the mid '90s (read: bought a keyboard) and dropped their illegible logos, before realising that nobody wanted a pseudo-arthouse, sub-Depeche Mode self-harm lesson. So, it's back to the blastbeats and feedback, much to the delight of the guys at the gym.

God knows what's going to happen, but Tony's been stockpiling the wax for months now and I'm just back from a record shopping trip to Berlin, so the best/worst of our hoarding/holidaying will be wrecking your speakers in no time.

Forgotten post punk masterclasses, sub-underground '80s drum machine minge, hollowed out prison blues minimalism and potentially lethal doses of industrial-strength reverb - you know the score.

Taps aff etc.

Posted at 09:17, 1st October 2012

s03 e02: boneless bucket feeding frenzy

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 17.09.12 // S03 E02: Boneless Bucket Feeding Frenzy

Holy Lord, we've got a fucking rinse out in store for you tonight.

No theme this week, just an endless cranking of the banger box, which should go something like this...

Mind blowing (and previously unreleased) dictaphone recordings from the Harry Pussy duo of Bill Orcutt and Adris Hoyos.

New digital concrète/precision minge from Jason Lescalleet's excellent 'Songs About Nothing' album.

Dead-eyed, droning industrial horror from Okishima Island Tourist Association.

Regis-approved dark post punk from California's DVA Damas - think Suicide meets Messthetics.

Lo-fi experimental pop from John Bender's untouchable 1983 masterpiece, Pop Surgery.

And something off Richard Youngs' new one, Rurtain. Obviously, it's a total tit-ripper.

Keep your hands where we can smell them, honey. It's all about to kick off.

Posted at 17:12, 17th September 2012

s03 e01: secret limbs

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 01.09.12 // S03 E01: Secret Limbs

You wondered if we would, we wondered if we could, but this time, it's for keeps.

The Awkward Sons are back!

And to celebrate our return to regularity, we've lined up a fucking stinker.

The Blackest Ever Black label has been on jaw-dropping form lately. Their flawless run of limited 12"s, covering everything from post punk warehouse electronics to downer bedsit pop disasters, has pretty much been the soundtrack to the Awkward summer.

Throw in a series of mixes that gave just about everyone a much-needed kick in the dick, and you've got the finest label in the UK right now.

So, our first show back had to be a bit of an arse-fingering fanboy special.

We've got tracks from the Blackest Ever Black back catalogue, some of our favourite cuts from their mixes, a great selection from their online shop and a bunch of unrelated shit that we reckon fits in perfectly.

If downbeat '80s post punk, drugged, anti-dancefloor techno, hermetic minimal wave and Turner-nominee synth abuse is your thing (and it is), then strap your fucking arses in.

Game face.

Posted at 04:13, 1st September 2012

show 28: happy hour on ecstasy cams

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 05.07.12 // Show 28: Happy Hour On Ecstasy Cams

Bloody hell - it's just a fucking two-hour Awkward special!

Your favourite Sons might not be about much this summer, so a double decking seemed like the only decent thing to do. Also, we've been stockpiling the wax like nobody's business. Seriously, there's been bailiffs at our door looking for 12"s.

(That's a lie)

So it's going to be a fucking smorgasbord of freshly pressed meat this week - everything from Bill Orcutt's new private press C60 (mopping up the biggest rinsers from his most recent acoustic tour) to the pant-wetting archival excavation of Akos Rozmann's electro-acoustic interpretation of the Tibetan Wheel of Life. (Yeah, I know...)

Throw in some previously unreleased Can material, Tampax's amazing Tampax (In The Cunt) 7", a Hawaiian war chant and the first live recording of Ex-Servicemen's shattered dub/noise/jazz comedown and you've picked yourself a fucking winner.

This one's going to be monstrous.

Game face.

Posted at 19:19, 2nd July 2012

the awkward sons & andy votel mix competition

So, The Awkward Sons have entered a mix competition and we need your help! It's being judged by Andy Votel (Finders Keepers), Veronica Vasicka (Minimal Wave) and Actress, so we want to rinse it. It's an 18-minute minimalism mix, containing 29 tracks.

The whole thing's being judged on plays, favourites, tweets, comments etc, so anything like that that you could help out with would be fucking great.

Anyway, the mix takes in the microscopic sound of Lee Patteron's burning matches, Anne-James Chaton's drugged, monotone wordplay, Christina Carter's shattered, grieving blues, the brutal dancefloor minimalism of the UK's finest new producers, the tragic, holy gravity of Arvo Part and the thin, lonely sirens of classic Whitehouse.

The full tracklist is in the link. Click the fuck out of it!

http://www.mixcloud.com/chris-storey/dazed-x-sonos-evolution-of-music/

Posted at 19:05, 25th June 2012

show 27: contraband christian plum

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 14.06.12 // Show 27: Contraband Christian Plum

Fucking hell - after 18 hours of planes, trains and tit-ripping airport boredom, The Awkward Sons are right back on it, primed and ready to romance your incredible stones.

An extended blast of white light, white heat, Moroccan mountain hash and skull-shaving Sufi trance music definitely takes something out of you, though. Or that might have been the feverish, arse-emptying cramps. Who knows.

So, in honour of the oldest - and wildest - rock and roll band on the planet (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYr3AwdcWyo&feature=share), tonight's show is all about the hidden amp-wrecking gems you never got around to rinsing.

Expect mind-blowing off the radar psych, stupidly rare garage 45s, fuzz-scorched one hit blunders, power trio dancefloor rippers and the odd reverb-heavy wounded teenage weep-out.

If the acid underbelly of late 60s/70s counterculture gets your gape on, you've got to know by now that The Awkward Sons have it all sewn up for you.

Lights down and light up - this one's going to be fucking feral.

Posted at 14:23, 14th June 2012

show 26: i smell tar

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 24.05.12 // Show 26: I Smell Tar

Fuck, The Awkward Sons have missed you. We needed a break, we know, but that never stopped it hurting.

Days spent in our pants on the sofa, inexorably adding to the growing pile of tear-soaked ring-pulls on the floor didn't do anything for our self esteem. But we're over all that now. We've grown. We've matured. So it's time we came crawling back, begging for clemency.

But we couldn't come empty-handed. A peace offering for our weeks of neglect seemed like the decent thing to do. And what a fucking offering it is...

Strap your gigantic asses in for 60 minutes of primitive 1950s proto-techno, a brand new studio battering from Japan's greatest export (Fushitsusha, obviously!), some tour-only 7" action from Sublime Frequencies, skin-peeling acid psych from way back when, a bunch of home-made Australian instrument blurt and prime meat from the new Shackleton box set.

Hop in the shower, sweet thing. We'll be right over.

Posted at 18:23, 24th May 2012

show 25: adrian's echo - an on-u sound special

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 12.04.12 // Show 25: Adrian's Echo - An On-U Sound Special

Adrian Sherwood.

Those two words alone could be the write-up for this week's show.

But The Awkward Sons are wordsmiths - linguistic sculptors carving knowledge shapes into the rocks of incomprehension.

Plus I've got loads of time to kill in work. Nice.

This week is all about On-U Sound, possibly the greatest record label the UK has ever seen. Well, in their '80s heyday, anyway. Back then, they were absolutely fucking untouchable. One listen to Mark Stewart's skull-shaving dub/industrial/funk/noise/post-punk (I know...!) masterpiece, Learning To Cope With Cowardice, is proof enough for any unbeliever.

Sherwood was the mastermind producer behind the label, turning ubiquitously incredible song-writing into head-scratching sonic perfection with the flick of an echo switch. For my money, he's up there with Tubby and Perry as one of the most important desk-wreckers in the history of modern music.

So, tonight is 60 minutes of Sherwood gold. Pretty much everything was either released by On-U Sound or features that incredible ahead-of-the-pack production. But in keeping with the label's continued irreverence for all things 'correct', there's the odd rinser that has no connection to the theme whatsoever, other than a loose historical connection with the label. I'm sure you'll cope admirably, though.

For lung-rupturing experimental dub with a huge post-punk/industrial low-end kick, you won't find anything else that even comes close.

Start writing those apology letters now - your neighbours are going to be fucking raging.

Posted at 12:44, 11th April 2012

show 24: tdk c60 - a tascam tribute

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 05.04.12 // Show 24: TDK C60 - A Tascam Tribute

After last week’s 7” special, this week is all about the tapes.

From the post-punk cassette culture explosion in the late 70s, through to a pretty huge format revival in the early/mid 2000s (largely spurred on by the US noise underground), tapes have always been a favourite format for cash-strapped counter-cultures.

They’re cheap to buy, cheap to copy, and with a huge DIY distribution network at your fingertips, you can get seriously fucking creative with everything from the actual sonics through to the artwork (my favourite being a used condom wrapped in tissue – thanks, A Band!)

So, no worries about whether Walmart are going to stock it and how you’re going to front the green for that Ross Robinson production.

Much like 7” singles, this is where you find the weirdest, most off-the-map shit going.

Tonight, we’re casting the net wide, so expect heart-breaking psychedelic folk from Thailand, 10-year-old dead baby blues from Human Skab, a quick dip into the Mississippi Records tape archive, Robbie Basho’s last album before his chiropractor broke his neck, absurdist a capella sex noise from Dylan Nyoukis, Arthur Brown getting it on with Suicide’s producer, and a whole bunch of post-industrial pant-stretchers.

REWIND!

Posted at 14:15, 5th April 2012

show 23: seven awkward inches

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 29.03.12 // Show 23: Seven Awkward Inches

So I've spent ages trying to think of something funny to write about 7"s. And the cock jokes just won't cut it.

Anyway, no dice. Moving on...

Tonight, it's nothing but 7" singles. Everyone fucking loves them, right?

OK, getting up every 3-4 minutes to change a record is nobody's idea of a go-to good-time, but you're pretty much guaranteed a rinse.

You either cut straight to the meat, getting the best shit from the full-length, or you get landed with the weird shit that wouldn't fit on the album in the first place. Either way, sorted.

Then there's the one-offs, the bands that just disappeared after about 6 minutes of speaker time. They're pretty much always great, eh?

All that, plus keeping it concise usually ups the fat-trimming ante - no room for any floppy thighs here. And they're cheap. All in all, pretty much the perfect format.

So expect tour-only gold from former Harry Pussy amp-burner Bill Orcutt, a wild oud and synth duo from Keith Fullerton Whitman, a Flemish cover of Fever from DDV (of Club Moral fame), raw as balls droning African folk with harmonies pulled straight from the fucking heavens and a whole load of obscure psych, garage, no wave and post punk.

Tool up, sweet thing. Shit is kicking off.

Posted at 11:29, 29th March 2012

show 22: hair-lip frenching

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 22.03.12 // Show 22: Hair-Lip Frenching

So, it's been another week of hefty wax hauls round at chez Awkward. A weekend shopping in Berlin probably had something to do with it.

(That plus a wreckless disregard for personal finances and a terrifying inability to plan for the future, eh? Let's not kid ourselves!)

But who needs a nest egg when you're faced with a stash like this?

* Early 70s pre-punk proto-doom euphorics, heavy on the fuzz and light on the smarts. Expect two rare cuts from the amazing new Bonehead Crushers compilation on Belter Records (brilliantly named), prime meat for anyone who lost it over the Jerusalem and Flying Wedge tunes from last week.

* Post-techno/fucked hip-hop action from NHK's side of the new NHK/SND split. The "bashful noise" tag suits NHK brilliantly - imagine a funk-focussed Autechre playing with Pan Sonic distortion and trying not to wake the neighbours. Monster!

* Raw, reverb-heavy gospel from Waymon Jones' Gusman Records. Gusman put out some of the most haunting, aching religious music ever to come out of America, with vocal harmonies to fucking die for, and this one's going to have you crying for Christ in no time. On your knees!

* Abrasive, primal minimal wave from 80s Belgium, made by two teenagers with no concern for fidelity or convention. With mind-blowing song-writing and a tense, drug-fucked atmosphere to boot, this is some of the best post-industrial dread I've heard since Veronica's last show.

Luckily, we've done all the work (and ignored all the bills), so all you have to do is push the button, as the Brothers Chemical so eloquently put it.

Game face!

Posted at 12:02, 22nd March 2012

show 21: slow dance to fushitsusha

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 15.03.12 // Show 21: Slow Dance To Fushitsusha

So that new Haino/Ambarchi/O'Rourke album is the absolute bollocks, eh?

There's been a fair bit of Awkward shopping this week, but that one is something fucking else.

Mind you, John Olson's new Henry and Hazel Slaughter project is a total brain-rape as well. Like the Vanity cassettes run through a bunch of fucked junk from a Michigan pawn-shop, previous owner probably dead. It's the tits.

So it's going to be all new shit tonight (new to us, anyway) - a bit like looking into our living rooms with your ears. (Nobody wants the eyes...)

Expect the above-mentioned rinse outs, seven inches of Oxfam Music gold, a bunch of shit I got for selling some old CDs and the best find so far after a hefty dub binge.

Get greased.

Posted at 18:13, 15th March 2012

show 20: horse-proof bacon

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 23.02.12 // Show 20: Horse-Proof Bacon

Tony's clandestine operations have taken centre-stage again, so I'll be grinding on alone till the heat dies down.

4-year-old Christian preachers, fuzzed-out garage/psych rarities, low-budget dub electro, harrowing a capella blues, amazing new gear from Richard Youngs and the usual load of blown-out post punk fuck-ups.

No theme or anything like that, just hit after hit after hit.

As Katy Fitzgerld once said, it doesn't get better than this.

Posted at 17:46, 23rd February 2012

show 19: i'm not made of money

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 16.02.12 // Show 19: I'm Not Made Of Money

Fuck me - Greece is taking a proper pounding.

Fair enough, beds are made for lying in, but Euro humiliation, the slow death of democracy, wage cuts to turn your balls black... Pretty grim!

And with everyone taking a kick in the dick in one way or another, this shit is going to spread.

So in honour of the EU's inevitable gradual collapse, The Awkward Sons are going to be keeping it cheap.

No-fi '80s tape hiss, shitty dictaphone bootlegs, crumbling post punk speaker abuse, Bishops with boomboxes and total cardboard noise disasters.

Mastering? You're taking the fucking piss, mate.

Posted at 16:52, 16th February 2012

show 18: city of corpses

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 09.02.12 // Show 18: City of Corpses

Australia gets a pretty bad rap, eh?

Aboriginal concentration camps, cops butchering homosexuals, the mass murders of Truro, Bevan Von Einem's love of 15-year-olds, casks filled with acid and corpses, dingoes eating babies, Isla Fisher, nurses setting fire to nursing homes...you know the score.

Then there's that cunt Gillard.

But they do have AC/DC. And that Wolf Creek film. All is fucking forgiven.

So, in honour of the country that gave us one of the Simpsons' best episodes, The Awkward Sons are going digging down under.

Strap your dicks in for 60 minutes of solid gold from one of THE unsung musical landscapes on the fucking planet.

It's not all about Nick Cave, you know. Far from it.

Posted at 16:48, 9th February 2012

show 17: cocking a snook

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 19.01.12 // Show 17: Cocking A Snook

Another week, another character/record collection assassination.

You're bound to be sick of this shit by now.

But for those of you who view conversational grace, socially acceptable witticisms and the genuine pleasure taken from the presence of another as nothing more than a dimly lit, easily falsified memory, strap your dicks in.

Hair-melting vocal music from the Aka Pygmies, drugged and fucked drum machine abuse, serious men knocking out some seriously devotional reggae, post-Dead C misery blurt and some Japanese synths set to 'Pfft!'

9 out of 10 doctors said this show WILL get you girls/boys.

FACT.

Posted at 20:22, 19th January 2012

show 16: lavatory dread

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 12.01.12 // Show 16: Lavatory Dread

Had a blast at the Cry Parrot festival in Sleazys this weekend?

Need that 'pissed-alone-in-an-empty-flat-with-fucked-ears' soundtrack after you've walked home through the sex park (another fuck dodged!) and exhausted the porn you can be arsed searching for?

The Awkward Sons and Timmy Two Scoops know what you need.

Minimal French pop produced to psychedelic perfection, Latino-themed post-punk underground confusion, crackle-heavy Sacred Harp vocal minge, widescreen cinematic drone-outs and some fucking techno.

We're totally on it.

Posted at 07:10, 13th January 2012

show 15: where's my plague of locusts?

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 05.01.12 // Show 15: Where's My Plague Of Locusts?

The eschaton. Yawm ad-Din. The end of days.

2012 is supposed to be the start of the good shit, right? We've all seen John Cusack having a ball out-running gaping maws and getting the girl. It looks fucking brilliant! (No mention of how the smarmy cunt survived a post-apocalyptic Africa, though... That's the sequel we're all holding out for.)

The last era of genuine apocalyptic dread was probably the '80s. Fuck the millennium - only computer programmers and total wallys got worked up about that one. The '80s had Reagan, Thatcher and the constant threat of pre-emptive nuclear strikes. And Threads. Obviously. Good times.

It made total sense that dayglow, coke-fuelled singalongs were the soundtrack to just getting on with it. But scratch the surface, and some of the most inventive, forward-thinking music of anyone's lifetime was being made in the miserable safety of bunkers and basements the world over.

Blunt, proto-techno drum programming, post-industrial synth/effects abuse and insanely warped, pitch-black nuclear pop hooks - it was without doubt one of the most amazing periods in electronic music history. Suicide and Throbbing Gristle had a fuck-load to answer for.

So we've gone trawling through the irradiated, paranoid depths of the Awkward vaults (lead-sealed, obviously) to bring you a 60-minute mix of city-flattening, culture-erasing audio fallout. Most of this shit still sounds utterly fucking timeless, and makes a whole load of modern electronic music sound like a whimpering, self-induced almost-gasm.

That said, there's still a few cunts plumbing the fear and keeping it fresh, so we had to throw them in, too. No fucking revivalists, mind.

Time to wind up the old Doomsday Clock...

Posted at 16:33, 4th January 2012

show 14: lifestyle advisor

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 15.12.11 // Show 14: Lifestyle Advisor

So everyone's doing an end of year list and everyone's got an opinion, eh?

We're just gonna catch Ship Canal, get wrecked and play some belters instead. Fuck knows when any of them came out.

You should tune in, though. It'll be great.

Posted at 18:37, 15th December 2011

show 13: like you're peeling a monkey

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 01.12.11 // Show 13: Like You're Peeling A Monkey

Advent calendars are a bit of a luxury this year, eh? May as well just go buy an Animal Bar (how come they're just calling them Dairy Milks these days?) and pace yourself for 25 miserable days until you're left with nothing but a soggy wrapper and the icy reminder that your parents always bought your presents and they simply don't know you any more. Hence the shit socks and Top Gear annual. Again.

Or you could peel back the labial doors of your favourite Awkward Sons instead. We won't reward you with the moulded cocoa trinkets of a perenially exploited people, but a 60-minute brain gape should do the trick. Plus you don't even need to write to us once a year to get your frosty disappointment fix. Great, eh?

Wild Turkish psych, conversational English industrial and percussive Aussie minge abuse.

You might not get what you want, but you'll sure as fuck get what you need.

Posted at 20:14, 1st December 2011

show 12: utilitarian sex test

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 17.11.11 // Show 12: Utilitarian Sex Test

Even before the internet made you into a lazy listener (it did - admit it), you could usually tell whether an album was going to rip your balls out after a good 30 seconds or so. At least by the end of the first track. Hard feeling to beat, that one - a classic instant reward. Where did they piss off to, eh?

So it's album openers only tonight - 60 minutes of teasing you with the tip while keeping the bulk slyly out of reach, all the time playing with your giddy sense of nostalgia for a time when albums were a sit-down-and-shit affair.

Some of the greatest first tracks in recorded history on this one - everything from songs about your poop-chute through to two cunts on the horse recording what most folks refer to as 'their joke album'. Grimmest joke going.

And if you don't like arses and smack, we've got some grind.

Dicks out!

Posted at 20:30, 17th November 2011

show 11: two hard, one soft, one goat

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 10.11.11 // Show 11: Two Hard, One Soft, One Goat

So these dark evening are a bit grim, eh?

Whatever. I fucking love them - it's like being an extra in a film about Norweigan suicide rates every time you leave the house. Which rules.

It's also a great excuse to dig out the mankiest, mouldiest, most po-faced records you've got. You know, the ones you're ashamed to play to your girlfriend. The ones that add a bit of teenage in-ear atmopshere when you're popping over to Sainsbury's to get the stir-in sauce that you could just as easily make yourself.

So with that in mind, I thought I'd put together a show for all the Subcity goat-fiddlers and virgin-burners who see the coldest season as an excuse to listen to the recorded output of convicted murders all day. (And if that recorded output stretches beyond a demo and a split 7", those guys have fucking sold out.)

No female vocalists. No ballads. No benders.

And definitely nothing your mum would like. Unless she's cool as fuck.

*Note - there's a wee burst of silence (5 seconds-ish) about half way through the show - apologies! I made a boo-boo. Normal service resumes pretty quick-sharp, though.*

Posted at 19:22, 10th November 2011

show 10: smarter than you

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 03.11.11 // Show 10: Smarter Than You

Mostly vinyl and ably assisted by Gary NASA. No chat, and apologies for the late info. Fuck me though, some belting tunes on this cunt.

Posted at 01:48, 4th November 2011

show 9: this shirt will test you

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 27.10.11 // Show 9: This Shirt Will Test You

Loads of new shit this week to make up for ditching you last week, so get your fucking asses out.

New tape minge from Sonic Oyster, crippled electronics from another one of Mattin's brilliant collaboration projects, splodgy African 80s synth action that would give Sherwood's productions a run, and a choir of deaf children.

Kick off your socks.

Posted at 21:13, 27th October 2011

show 8: fucking you and your new shoes

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 13.10.11 // Show 8: Fucking You and Your New Shoes

A wise man once said: "I don't want to be one of those pricks that sits round listening to OSTs all day".

Amen to that. So, on that sentiment, you're lucky that these two pricks sat round listening to OSTs all day so that you only have to suck up an hour's worth of them... Some of our favourite pieces of music from films, or some pieces of music from our favourite films. Either way, it's going to be a belta.

Posted at 18:48, 13th October 2011

show 7: all jacket, no pants

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 06.10.11 // Show 7: All Jacket, No Pants

It's a rainy day, sunshine girl, so take the phone off the hook, pull the duvet up and spread your ear flaps for some more awkward intimacy. It's going to go something like this.

Overtone-heavy electric blues straight off Alan Licht's Minimal Top 10 list.

Psilocybin mushroom rituals from the throat of a Mexican curandera.

Heart-bursting '50s doo-wop drenched in eternal echo.

And devotional bedroom electronics with a massive stonker for Terry Riley's never-recorded krautrock masterpiece.

Just another hour with your favourite Awkward Sons.

I'm sweating already.

Posted at 20:21, 6th October 2011

show 6: there are three rules of audience

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 29.09.11 // Show 6: There Are Three Rules Of Audience

No theme again toight, you hot cunts, just a burning desire to disappoint and a couple of bags of rinse outs.

Mangled vocal covers of La Bamba, loin-emptying audio direct from the Los Angeles Free Music Society's journal, radio sessions from Glasgow's premier post-punk wall-smasher and dirty Saigon garage courtesy of Sublime Frequencies - we've got the lot.

Suit up, dickhead.

Posted at 22:22, 29th September 2011

show 5: sex and wrecks - the book

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 22.09.11 // Show 5: Sex And Wrecks - The Book

So, after pounding your fucking cocks in at the new Art School Union last night, we're gonna be playing it slow, dark and smokey for this one.

No theme tonight, but I'd say nausea, sleep-deprivation and industrial levels of intoxication will be a fairly constant presence.

No Whitehouse, that's for sure. I'd pass out.

Posted at 20:56, 22nd September 2011

show 4: "i go to lots of pub quizzes"

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 15.09.11 // Show 4: "I Go To Lots of Pub Quizzes"

This week our long lost awkward step-brother, the deliciously firm Gary 'G Money' Milne from NASA (yes, that NASA), will be sliding between our sweaty sheets as we dim the lights and get all doe-eyed about our favourite audio innovators.

Genre creators, instrument inventors, history refusers and echo intellectuals - chances are it's going to be a fucking stinker.

Posted at 21:56, 15th September 2011

show 3: the junkie's piano

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 08.09.11 // Show 3: The Junkie's Piano

So, we've done drummers, singers and producers. Next up - guitarists.

Still the instrument of choice for simpering skin-tights and the romantically impaired, guitars have taken a kicking since... Well, since time immemorial, really.

Not a real instrument, the symbol of a generation's sexual and cultural decline, a sneaky fast-track to fat stacks, the junkie's piano, not to mention the endless crimes of the hair metal elite.

But in the right hands, it's still the quickest way to an out-of-body brain bleed, no matter how jaded Linkin Park made you.

Obviously, we're the right hands. Tune in tonight at 11pm for 60 minutes of insane amp destruction, riffs that would make Theresa May drip, and not one use of the word 'axe'.

(We hope)

Posted at 19:01, 8th September 2011

show 2: it is happening again.

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 01.09.11 // Show 2: It Is Happening Again.

Or, rather, it is actually going to happen this time.

Our much vaunted show focussing on the musical delights of the fairer sex (dependent on the ones you've met, of course) is finally happening this week. We've promised it twice, never showed once and forgot about the other - read into that what you will.

Tune in to hear a whole batch of influential, genre melting and vital music interspersed with Chris ruminating on the latest squalid avenue his Oedipus complex has led him down.

Posted at 20:03, 1st September 2011

new catastrophic planetary endgame mix.

A while back, we asked our hopelessly devoted listeners if they had any themes for mixes that they wanted us to tackle.

The first respons was from Victoria Stevenson, who asked for a mix based around travelling into space. Nice and open - it was always going to get apocalyptic! We finally settled on the intergalactic evacuation of all surviving members of the human race after a catastrophic planetary endgame. Sexy.

Somehow, we managed to squeeze 42 tracks into 37 minutes. God knows how. Anyway, free download and all that shit.

http://soundcloud.com/the-awkward-sons/le-temps-detruit-tout

Lee Patterson - Nine Lucifers

Arvo Part - Iklos

Iannis Xenakis - Hibiki - Hana - Ma

Mika Vainio - In Silence, A Scream Takes A Heart

John Weise - Ghost Call

Ghedalia Tazartes - Un Amour Si Grand Qu'il Nie Son Objet

Kevin Drumm - Second

Devillock - The Blood From

Hecker - Jxean-z Character Generator

Alva Noto - Haloid Xerox Copy 11

Graveyards - Untitled

Harry Partch - The Pilgrimage

Joe Colley - Bruise Voltage and Field Error

Lethe - Catastrophe Point #6

Christina Carter - Carelessly

Keith Fullerton Whitman - Generator 8 (Edit)

Aaron Dilloway - Execution Dock

Raime - Retread

Samuel Beckett - The Unnamable (read by Cyril Cusak)

Venison Whirled - Untitled

Demdike Stare - Jannisary

Cloaks - Against

Steve Reich - Clapping Music

Blood Stereo - The Little Creeper

Whitehouse - The Days At Florbelle

Phil Niblock - A Third Trombone

Anne-James Chaton - Evenement No. 22

Ryoji Ikeda - Data.Adaplex

SND - Vandyk-k Integ Paradise 3

Dickie Landry - Fifteen Saxophones

Ruspolia Nitidula Cricket - Chirp

Junko - Backward

Tactile feat. Jhonn Balance - Grief

Damion Romero - John Wiese's Legs

Pita - Get Out 2

Grails - I Want A New Drug

Pan Sonic - Aktiivi

Grouper - Alien Observer

Pan Sonic - Aktiivi

Tribes of Neurot - Proliferation

E.M.A.K. - A L'Horizon

Lee Patterson - Three Hazlenuts Burn

No samples of HAL and definitely no space disco, this is one for the long smokey evenings with nothing but excessive bass and Buckfast to distract you from the inevitable collapse of social infrastructures and ecosystems the world over. Typical Friday, then.

Any suggestions for future mix themes you want done, just leave them here. We'll get round to the best ones asap!

Posted at 20:47, 22nd August 2011

show 1: insert priest here

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 18.08.11 // Show 1: Insert Priest Here

Summer is over, that's official. We spent the shutdown time accumulating wax and also buying vinyl. HA! SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

If that floats yr boat then tune in tonight where we'll be pummeling the air inside yr ears with some of our favourite discoveries since you last tuned in and probably indulging in some heavy petting because we haven't seen each other in an age. We'll leave the mics up too, and yr in for a treat because Chris is VOCAL.

Posted at 17:48, 18th August 2011

the awkward sons - new blog

Not content with the trail of audio/visual digital minge abuse we've already carved into your one-bowel-movement-to-the-next​ existences, we've gone and set up a blog.

Ever wanted to rummage through our record collection without us stroking your hair and whispering (some frankly rather disturbing) declarations of sexual inadequacy into your mouths? Now's your chance. Fill your fucking dicks.

http://theawkwardsons.tumblr.com/

Posted at 01:49, 3rd August 2011

awkward sons - 3 new mixes!

Alrite you slavering sociopaths, since we've been off the air, we've been mostly toying with our arses.

In between that, though, we've been doing you up three hefty new mixes, covering wildly skewed 80s dub, psychedelic dada-influenced drone, obscure French anarcho electro, cavernous Japanese psych, David Lynch soundtracks and minging industrial techno.

You could ask for more but you'd get a fucking slap.

http://soundcloud.com/the-awkward-sons

http://www.mixcloud.com/chris-storey/

Posted at 20:37, 4th July 2011

tears the size of pineapple chunks

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 02.06.11 // Show 28: Tears The Size Of Pineapple Chunks

So, my genitally absurd co-host (Tony, obviously) is laying low till the heat dies down, which means you've got an hour of bone-withering subterranean minge straight from my dangerously bowed shelves later on. Horrific, eh? Let's just get through it as quickly as possible.

Expect everything from hermetic Moroccan spiritualism to digitally butchered NLP aggression. You know the score by now. 11pm, innit?

Posted at 16:36, 2nd June 2011

show 27: the rustle of green denim

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 26.05.11 // Show 27: The Rustle of Green Denim

Slinking his way into our laps tonight is the whirlwind of smooth Mr Timothy "Birthday Boii" Malseed. We're going to celebrate his womb escape anniversary with a wholly indulgent:

!!!!@@@@**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIM SHOW**@@@@!!!!

Fucking bring it.

Posted at 21:47, 26th May 2011

show 26: half a yard from a four-year-old

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 19.05.11 // Show 26: Half A Yard From A Four-Year-Old

My, my! No theme this week, just us pissing up your ass hard.

Or possibly just one of us if Tony's hoop-bleaching goes awry again.

One way or another, though, it'll be the best you ever had.

Posted at 20:47, 19th May 2011

show 25: homosexual tendencies at the royal mail

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 12.05.11 // Show 25: Homosexual Tendencies At The Royal Mail

You there. Aye, you. Sitting in yr crusty self-love pit, listen up. We'll be soundtracking your filthiest little thoughts tonight with a deluge of groin mangling tunes...

Blood and sand by the time we've finished tonight, we promise. Blood and sand.

Posted at 20:20, 12th May 2011

show 24: listen to parkinson over here

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 05.05.11 // Show 24: Listen To Parkinson Over Here

Voting Day! A day to celebrate our glorious democracy, and what better way to do so than by inviting Dictator and Friend of The Show Tim Malseed back into our booth and loins. With his assistance in manning the controls, and in spite of him bullying us, we'll be bringing you 60 minutes of Protest Music. It's so convoluted that we're doing this today it could only have been planned that way, right? Wrong! You give us far too much credit.

Posted at 16:11, 5th May 2011

show 23: yr ma sells hotdogs down the road

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 28.04.11 // Show 23: Yr Ma Sells Hotdogs Down The Road

Once again abandoned in my weekly hour of need by that bastard Chris, I'll mainly be rattling through the best music that I've came across recently. Joining me in the studio (and ensuring that we remain completely mute) will be Gary NASA, so get yr filthy ears abused by the likes of Christina Carter, HTRK and Hype Williams to name but a few.

Posted at 20:17, 28th April 2011

show 22: holding the butter

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 21.04.11 // Show 22: Holding The Butter

None of Morrow's marrow this week unfortunately, but you'll get a super creey solo sex show instead. Repulsive, eh?

Orchestral covers of Whitehouse tunes, blunt 80s industrial, dub jazz and some almost dead blues. You could ask for more, but could you be fucked?

Posted at 22:21, 21st April 2011

show 21: lansbury's bath time fun

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 14.04.11 // Show 21: Lansbury's Bath Time Fun

We are back this week, hammering home the show we had lined-up last week and going for our consistently popular "No-Theme" theme. Expect the expected, prepare for the mundane and we won't disappoint you...

Apart from the music of course, which will leave you as wet as Angela Lansbury at bath-time and nearly as horrifically horny.

Posted at 17:18, 14th April 2011

show 20: "how dare you assume i don't know stuff"

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 31.03.11 // Show 20: "How Dare You Assume I Don't Know Stuff"

WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Wait a bloody minute right there.

Stop.

MR DANIEL BAKER OF 'WORST CHIPS EVER' FAME IS JOINING US TONIGHT.

We're gonna rip through a selection of some stand-out tracks from one the world's best kept secrets - Mississippi Records. We give you our three-way combined guarantee of an hour of absolute pleasure, but if you're not satisfied then Dan will sort you out in the GU bogs if you email your phone number into the station.

Posted at 19:09, 31st March 2011

show 19: i can't tell danger from a hug

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 24.03.11 // Show 19: I Can't Tell Danger From A Hug

Not much to say this week theme-wise because we've decided to just go play hunners (Chris) of balls-out, fannies-out, tits-out, cocks-out, taps-aff (Duncan) beasts of tunes. Expect the usual compendium of sheer noise terror, quasi-religious bullshit and relentlessly overwhelming urge to rip yr own womb out. Then we'll stop talking and play some tunes.

Posted at 18:41, 24th March 2011

show 18: droning in express stella

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 17.03.11 // Show 18: Droning In Express Stella

This week sees the continued separation of The Awkward Sons. Faced with having to fill in whilst Chris is grounded on account of his rampant drug abuse and horrific porn collection, I've decided to fall back on an easy selection for myself. Tune in or listen again for an hour long mix of drones, noise, ambience, shoegaze and beats - and you'll probably not even have to listen to my fearful quivering voice.

Everyone wins.

Posted at 00:21, 17th March 2011

show 17: the friendly ghost hour

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 10.03.11 // Show 17: The Friendly Ghost Hour

So, last week's show was all about the recording, the use of studios, about men sat behind desks getting that perfect sound for the artist. As visceral as that can be it's just not the same as taking that full on experience of a live show right in your face. Recorded live shows get a bit of a bad press, they can be doctored within an inch of their lives and the line between studio and live gets blurred - but that's not going to put these guys (loose use of the term) behind this desk off.

Get involved and hear our take on seminal live recordings tonight. Your room will look like a painter's radio by the time we're done.

Posted at 19:16, 10th March 2011

show 16: secret queers - totally rockin'

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 03.03.11 // Show 16: Secret Queers - Totally Rockin'

This week, it's all about the producers who've made those great albums into total fucking clit-clenchers, the gods on the knobs, the fruits on the faders, the dicks behind the desks.

And speaking of dicks behind the desks, the sexiest of all the sexy co-hosts, Tony 'Secret Queer' Morrow, couldn't make it tonight cos of a hard drive problem. He's driven it hard into me plenty of times before, and it's never been an issue. Guess his computer is less forgiving than my billowing hoop. So it's a solo spectacular, much like my crusty, tear-stained 'love life'. HOT.

Posted at 00:29, 4th March 2011

show 15: "i'm sure whenever i did it before..."

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 24.02.11 // Show 15: "I'm Sure Whenever I Did It Before..."

"The last refuge of unimaginative b-sides" or "Absolute gold and how the track should've sounded in the first place". Two phrases you often hear relating to remixes...

We've chosen tracks that are guaranteed to fall within the remit of the second, so listen in and catch remixes that actually deserve an airing as tunes unto themselves. Lurching from static soaked dub-outs through to metal-infused gabba, we'll be making you all as wet as an otter with this offering.

Posted at 19:28, 24th February 2011

show 14: hunting biped deer in your bedroom

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 17.02.11 // Show 14: Hunting Biped Deer In Your Bedroom

ICE-BREAKER: WORK WITH SOMEONE ELSE TO WRITE A DAMN FINE TUNE

Everyone hates ice-breakers eh? Awful things designed to not break down barriers but rather torture the souls of those nihilists that walk amongst us. Luckily, the acts we'll be picking tonight aren't as overtly sociopathic as we are and have spouted forth some bloody excellent music for us to spin so tune in or listen again as we rattle through our choices of the best collaborations out there. No doubt there'll be some KoRn ft. Vanilla Ice action going down.

Posted at 18:37, 17th February 2011

show 13: king minus pound

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 10.02.11 // Show 13: King Minus Pound

"Mal". A word in French which translated to our mother tongue can be intepreted as "evil", and there's a whole pile of Mal bouncing round our studio tonight.Tim "Poppa Pump" Malseed joins The Awkward Sons for a special show focussed entirely on the art of murder. All tracks tonight come stained from the bloody hands of someone and for once it's not just our fault. Tune in from 11pm to hear the definitive soundtrack to malicious afterthoughts played out by an Evil fucking 'seed.

Posted at 20:50, 10th February 2011

show 12: exercising our autistic license

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 03.02.11 // Show 12: Exercising Our Autistic License

Aaaah. The digital age. It's brought us many delights - the electronic toothbrush, dildos and massage chairs to name but a (vibrating) few - but it's also taken the romance out of a lot of things (see above). No longer do you routinely pour over the inside sleeve of CDs and marvel at the artwork that has been designed to sit so beautifully alongside those sounds that are reverberating around inside your ear canals. There's a disconnection associated with people downloading MP3s and uploading artwork into Itunes or having your favourite album's cover set as desktop wallpaper... It's not really what album artwork was first for, is it? Tonight we're going to be spinning out some tunes that came packaged in some of the best fucking sleeves you can ever lay your eyes and hands upon. Not necessarily our favourite tunes from said albums, but that's not the point of tonights show...

Not solely about the music, rather a raucous celebration of an oft now overlooked facet that you consider when buying music - the whole package. Luckily, that's also Chris' nickname so it all ties together nicely.

Posted at 19:06, 3rd February 2011

show 11: a night of ethnic slurs

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 27.01.11 // Show 11: A Night of Ethnic Slurs

"Krautrock is a subjective British phenomenon" - Julian Cope.

The key word there is "phenomenon". Teaming up with Krautrock specialist Gary NASA, this week we're bringing you the best of Krautrock as we see it. There's an "in" for everyone as we move through the more well known works of Can and Faust, spin some more obscure and less vaunted (but every bit as ball-grippingly astounding) sound from the likes of Popol Vuh and Kluster and even touch on a more modern take on the genre.

Tune in and find yourself utterly submerged in a world of 150bpm motorik beats and some of the best soundscapes you're likely to hear. We promise to touch the hearts and loins of even the most staunch Germanophobe.

Posted at 18:47, 27th January 2011

show 10: tuck up for a bedtime story

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 20.01.11 // Show 10: Tuck Up For A Bed Time Story

Alright, alright, alright. I know, this is late... Many apologies. Sidetracked by new jobs, old jobs and handjobs but at least we've got 'round to it eventually. This last instalment had us playing back-to-back, wall-to-wall, lips-to-lips tunes from some of our favourite storytellers. No Enid Blyton Crunk or Cormac McCarthy Polka, just a plethora of outright rinsers.

Posted at 20:31, 25th January 2011

show 9: we've been let out again

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 13.01.11 // Show 9: Read Me That Black Metal Band Logo. Go On.

Well, it's been bloody ages hasn't it? Santa brought us those blood tests we asked for since Dad starting giving it the "you're not my sons!" shite again when we got home for the holidays, and they've proved that we are indeed Patrick Stewart's Sons. You'll also be pleased to know that we continue to be awkward in every situation,in every possible way.

To ease you back into our schedule we've decided to be very original and do a "BEST OF 2010!!!!" show. I got Kanye West's album for Christmas so expect plenty of that, and I hear that Chris can't stop spinning "Wide Awake" by Joe McElderry... IT PROMISES TO BE GOOD.

Posted at 18:14, 13th January 2011

those damn good mixes we gave away

Well, we promised tracklistings so here they are in their entirety:

SEPTIC BABY INVASION

1) Crash Course In Science - Cardboard Lamb

2) Kitchen's Floor - Dishes

3) Mercenarias - Inimigo

4) Amaqawe Omculo - Jabulani Balaleli (Part Two)

5) The Units - Cannibals

6) Sun City Girls - Ben's Radio

7) Come On - Old People

8) Omar Khorshid - Guitar El Chark

9) Alva Noto & Blixa Bargeld - One (Harry Nilsson cover)

10) Patty Waters - Why Can't I Come To You?

11) Anne Clark - Sleeper In Metropolis

SLEEPING MAKES YOU SICK

1) Oren Ambarchi / Jim O'Rourke / Keiji Haino Tima Formosa 2

2) Belong - Who Told You This Room Exists?

3) The Fun Years - Breech On The Bowstring

4) Tim Hecker - Whitecaps Of Whitenoise II

5) Rene Hell - IV 1854

6) William Basinski - Vivian and Ondine

7) Small Scale Collisions - Have A Smooth Funeral

----------------------

Just how many actually got them? If you missed them first time round, get them both here: http://www.mediafire.com/?u5aldnmg7mln2

God damn the layout for making that hard to read eh?

Posted at 15:22, 14th December 2010

show 8: a subject that scares us both (sorry)

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 09.12.10 // Show 8: A Subject That Scares Us Both

Women. Neither of The Awkward Sons know anything about this subject except that our Dad was a hit with them. Big time. Often if they wanted it or not Mam said.

Sadly, his tremendous allure wasn't passed on and we're left with a huge gap in our understanding of the fairer sex and we've decided it's time to address this. Tune in or listen again as we crash through a series of tunes involving our favourite female performers and attempt discourse on what the hell they are all about.

**WELL, WE MISSED THIS ONE DIDN'T WE. APOLOGIES... IT'S HAPPENING THE FOLLOWING WEEK INSTEAD.**

Posted at 15:18, 7th December 2010

show 7: just you dare try to play "wonderwall".

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 02.12.10 // Show 7: Just You Dare Try To Play "Wonderwall".

The snow is falling all over Glasgow and turning it into a death trap for those on the streets, on the roads and even in their houses. For those very reasons, we've decided to bring warmth into your life with our dulcet tones and a selection of the finest acoustic tunes we can gather on this weeks show - but that's not all! These Awkward Sons will be accompanied in our twiddling of nobs (sic) by a very special (and I mean that in every sense) guest this week. Listen in from 2am-3am to find out who...

You'll have forgotten that you're too poor to pay those huge electric and gas bills that you're running up in no time.

Oh, and if Chris DOES bring his Alanis Morissette "MTV Unplugged" album you will definitely hear a live battering on air.

Posted at 12:45, 1st December 2010

free mixes that will win you sexual partners.

We played a gig last night (Sunday) with the excellent and downright fucking lovely Hype Williams as part of a Cry Parrot and Subcity night at Nice N Sleazy. For those that attended, we thank you and hope your ears are fully recovered. For those that didn't then it's only fair to say that we hate you all, but not as much as we hate ourselves.

Yet, we're a couple of swell guys... Swell, hot guys... So there's a present for you all if you follow the link below. We gave away 40 CD's that contained two mixes: The first by Chris "My Balls Are Totally Different Sizes" Storey, and the second by Anthony "Bloody hell, How'd That End Up In There?" Morrow. Tracklistings for both mixes will be forthcoming, but for now know them as:

1) Septic Baby Invasion

2) Sleeping Makes You Sick

Enjoy responsibly, with some Buckfast in hand whilst misadventuring in a cupboard.

http://www.mediafire.com/?u5aldnmg7mln2

Posted at 00:13, 30th November 2010

that's not meant to fucking sound like that?

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 25.11.10 // Show 6: That's Not Meant To Fuckin Sound Like That

Show number six comes laden with a bunch of covers that will have you scratching both your head and your genitals. One of them in a sexy way. We've lined-up some of our favourite covers to hoy your way between 2-3am on Thursday morning so get yourself settled in and don't expect any Jo Whiley bullshit.

Posted at 02:33, 23rd November 2010

show 5: prolapse inducing rhythms

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 18.11.10 // Show 5: Prolapse Inducing Rhythms

Back this week with a drummer orientated show that's going to have your innards making an unwanted appearance. Maybe we'll even partake in some in-studio sheet metal nonsense, we just don't know where the night will take us.

Posted at 12:39, 16th November 2010

show 4: aldous huxley's mescaline nightmares

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 11.11.10 // Show 4: Aldous Huxley's Mescaline Nightmares

This week's show is all about horrendous trips. Follow these 5 easy steps for optimum enjoyment:

1) Grab an unwilling victim

2) Lace them with cheap acid

3) Pump this into their ears

4) Revel in their reaction as their mind meanders from vague anxiety through to sheer internalised terror

5) Repeat steps 1-4

Posted at 00:34, 9th November 2010

show 3: wrap your larynx around these

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 04.11.10 // Show 3: Wrap Your Larynx Around These

Some of the most gut-wrenching vocal performances ever committed to record are going to be invading your personal space this week, and we don't just mean our own voices.

Posted at 18:59, 2nd November 2010

show 2: real-life horrorshow

The Awkward Sons of Patrick Stewart // 28.10.10 // Show 2: Real-Life Horrorshow

No-holds barred horror show. None of your witches and wizards, just genuine real-life horror.

60 minutes of audio exploitation, genocide, death and other light-hearted subjects. The perfect soundtrack for your withering grief.

Posted at 18:21, 26th October 2010

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