The Winter Of My Discontent

wce s02 #007

Absolute lemon sponge reverberation slabs of primary school rim of the desk table ruler twanging Monday Night Football gladitorial nonce bashing cutting edge film making DAVID SILVA IS GOD stabbing ungrateful Rodger Red Hats in their thighs with a 2HB motherfucker and rendering their left thigh an eternal focus of ennui upon every repeated glance gutted mate you got sparked heavy in summat' like reception. Unlucky.

Tonight... well, I'll be honest. I did no work for this. None whatsoever. I was away making weird noises with the Awkward Sons beforehand, which is no excuse, coz' they still showed up and rinsed it, but aye, got stuff on me mind at the minute... so.

Anyway, dark nights. I fucking hate the cunts. As my magnificent mate Sarah says "you sleep in and it's night again".

Exactly.

I'm pretty sure that the onset of winter is amongst my many hang ups (flying, eating in front of people I don't know, eating food on any plate that isn't white, waiting until I'm just about to piss my strides until I run for the bog, like it's some kind of cosmic challenge to my bowels, not being able to go to bed without the light on when I'm stoned...).

I used to adore it. It meant Christmas, it meant some presents from my parents, living the Thatchero-Blairite credit dream until it went bollocks up... it meant home, it meant the vicarious imbibing of alcohol through the lived in husks of the middle aged.. it was hopeful, basically.

Now my life is like an Aidan Moffat song. A new one. Tax credits, value Tesco bacon, periodically calling up your increasingly aging parents to borrow yet more money to pay back yet more debts. Grim as fuck innit.

So here are some largely miserablist tunes. Fuck you all.

Cheers.

Also, for those of you (surely no one) who is following this series incredibly unsubtle dropping of 90's footballer names into every other show, there is another tonight. Keep noting them down for the chance to win a free copy of the next Ship Canal release (CD-R, vinyl or cassette, we're not fobbing you off with one of the digital releases) and two whole pounds worth of Premium Bonds.

Posted at 01:52, 4th November 2011