10 to 10

Alcohol in Glasgow is sold for consumption off-premises (i.e. not in a bar) between 10am and 10pm which means that you can’t buy alcohol over the counter between 10am and 10pm. There are no exceptions to this rule. It is strictly enforced, so don’t even try to ask the cashier. The fine for selling alcohol outside of these hours is astronomical. There are mythical services that will deliver alcohol after these hours, but note that delivery of alcohol is illegal between 10pm and 6am, and these services are often quickly shut down by the police. After 6 it will probably be ok, maybe.

Minimum Unit Pricing

Scottish law has recently changed so that alcohol must cost a minimum of 50p per unit. This means that in Scotland Frosty Jacks comes in at £11.25 a bottle and you can’t really get any real steals when it comes to alcohol anymore.

Eldorado: The Road to Liquid Gold

Eldorado is like Buckfast but cheaper (and worse). A half/full bottle is £2.99/£5.99, compared to £4.50/7.49 for Buckfast. As 4 years of business school may eventually teach you, 5.99 is less than 7.49. Whether that’s worth the noticeable difference in quality is something only you can know. You can buy it at the big yellow off-license on Great Western road.

Best Old Man Pubs

A ridiculous amount of old man pubs exist across Glasgow. West end highlights enjoyed by student types often include The Doublet (Next to Kelvinbridge), The Belle (Great Western Road), The Aragon (Byres Road), The Arlington (Woodlands Road), The Grove (Finnieston) but there are many more. In the South Side, The Laurieston is a firm favourite.


Glasgow doesn’t have a glass bottle collection scheme. Nor does it have bins for glass bottles in your apartment. Also, you can’t put glass in the recycling bin. As many of you will note, this is not ideal for a nation of alcoholics. Instead, to ease ‘the fear’, Glasgow City Council has helpfully provided glass recycling centres dotted around town, denoted by big bins with glass-shaped holes to put glass-shaped things in. Dragging a big bag of glass bottles through town is highly recommended for lapsed Catholics who miss feeling guilty about everything. You can find out where the recycling points are on the Glasgow Council website.

Coffee Cons

You can’t expect to get very far in a car without petrol, obviously. The same science has been applied to students’ bodies, but with coffee. You may be content to get cheap shitty coffee from the library, or god forbid, coffee machines dotted around campus (£1), but that’s like trying to put regular petrol into a dragster (extended car metaphor). You need to strike the balance between frugality and flavour. The ultimate measure of coffee taste is whether or not it needs sugar in it to be drinkable, good coffee won’t need sugar in it.

Greggs (fuckin’ everywhere mate) is clearly less independent and responsible than most of the other coffee places you can go to, but they make a half decent coffee against all the odds. You can get a coffee with a breakfast roll (rumour has it some good vegan alternatives will be coming soon) for £2.10, but be wary of huge queues in the morning... and at lunch… and bratty school kids.

Artisan Roast (Gibson St) is an independent coffee shop, serving very strong coffee and raw/vegan food. It’s on the cheaper side of the independents, and it’s always quite busy. It has a nice atmosphere (although one of the tables is an old door?). The basement flat underneath it used to have a cannabis farm in it which made the customers feel woozy but that has since been shut-down.

Papercup (Great Western Road) is another independent coffeeshop not too far from the campus either. If you’re feeling a bit fancy the food here is pretty good too. Amy recommends Avocado toast with a poached egg on the side. Makes for really good insta photos.

Other nice independent cafes that are worth pretending to read in include: Kaf (Partick), Kelvin Pocket (Next to Kelvinbridge Subway station), Black Pine (GWR) and the CCA cafe (Sauchiehall Street), The Steamie (Finnieston), Raunchy (Maryhill Road).

So you want to buy some fruit and veg

It’s official: 100% of Erasmus students hate the vegetables in the UK. Bland, flavourless, and expensive, finding decent food can be an uphill struggle. Plus, most of the veg comes from Spain, who hate us. If you’re looking for some tomatoes that actually taste of something, consider visiting the Polish supermarket in Partick. It’s cheap, and has the best vegetables in all of Glasgow. Also, basically any asian supermarket, not only do they have flavourful veg but they are the best source for dried beans, lentils, rice, spices. If you’re vegan on a budget they are the ideal place to go. Special mention here to SeaWoo, a gigantic shop in Cowcaddens where you can find any east asian ingredients you could ever want.

The Glasgow Uni Food Coop (located in a cupboard under the stairs on the ground floor of the QMU) is a great place for locally produced fruit & veg, and wholefoods at wholesale prices (think a kilo of dates for less than 80p). It also makes you feel really good about yourself because it’s not for profit and far more sustainable than the Big Evil Corporations™. They’re usually there on fortnightly Friday afternoons and have regular pot luck events - or you can catch them on their facebook group or website.

Fuck Pizza Hut - an alternative to pizza in glasgow

Paesano is BY FAR the best pizza in Glasgow. Situated on Miller Street in town and now on Great Western Road beside the uni campus (!!). It's so good you only need to pay 6 quid for the margarita and it will taste a thousand times better than any shite meat deluxe you've ordered from Domino's. One of the few really good pieces of news in 2019 is that the good people of Paesano announced that they are turning their hands to pasta (!!!) with a new pasta restaurant called SUGO opening very soon in the city centre, so keep your eyes open for that! Other very good, notable pizza places include: Little Italy on Byres Road, which is the best Italian cafe with amazing pizza and authentic Italian radio, go for the 16 inch and choose any topping from the extensive list for a 10/10 pizza experience (also worth it for the pizza/renaissance inspired artwork). Mozza on Renfield Street is Tony Mac’s pizza branch-out and does really good sourdough pizzas for a fiver before 5pm!

Dumpling Monkey and the Curry Pot cheap eats.

Dumpling Monkey will change your life. You can spend £5 on some bomb noodle soup which will seriously fill you up, or you can spend £20 on some dumplings, a steamed bun, caramel bubble tea, ma po tofu, and pak choi in garlic sauce with enough left over for the subway home (you’ll need it). Curry Pot food is unreal plus it’s BYOB so bring a bottle of lambrini and impress your date. Both of the above are situated on Dumbarton Road at the bottom on Byres Road.

Civic House

Civic House does lunch Tuesday through Friday for only £5. They only ever do one dish but it is always ridiculously good and vegan. You also get a massive portion and refillable coffee/tea is £1.50. You should go, you’d love it.

Banana Leaf

Banana Leaf does UNREAL South Indian food for pretty much no money. It’s like sitting in someone’s kitchen. You might not get all the food you ordered but it’s so cheap that you may as well just order the whole menu. It’s also BYOB, so you can buy cheap beers to drink (and get judged for drinking them cause nobody really drinks in there). It’s on Old Dumbarton Road, just near BrewDog and Mother India. Important Note: It’s closed on Tuesdays.

Breakfast scran

I might be biased but Glasgow has possibly some of the best breakfast eats in the world. Nobody forgets the magic experienced tasting their first lorne sausage, but the city has a lot of variety to offer.
Best cafes (mainly Scottish fare):

  • University Cafe (Byres Road)
  • Trans-Europe Cafe
  • ANYWHERE in Partick (shout out to Cafe Cullis’s Diner & KAF)
  • Cafezique
  • Bank St. Cafe (Really good cheap breakfast)
  • The Glad Cafe
  • Rose & Grants (Great Vegan & Non-Vegan Options
  • Papercup

And for something a little different:
  • Stravaigin
  • 13th Note (Vegan)


Jump on the number 3, 4 or 6 bus to get to the southside and a whole new world of culinary experiences opens up to you. There’s somewhere new opening up on vicky road or in shawlands every day, some of our favourites are:

  • Locavore- very fresh, very sustainable, very cute
  • Nanika- 13 seat, 1 employee, many tasty east asian dishes
  • Julie’s Kopitiam- popular malaysian pop up that is now a permanent restaurant
  • Milk Cafe- social enterprise set up to empower and support refugee and migrant women, they do a mean spanish tortilla
  • Strange Brew Cafe - very instagrammable tasty food, can be difficult to get a seat sometimes
  • Ranjit’s - Family run Panjabi restaurant. Worth taking the train South of the river for when you have exhausted the Banana Leaf menu

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream

Do you ever long for a simpler time, free from edgy coffee franchises and suspicious fried chicken chains? Get into that Chomskyist, anti-corporate kick by visiting one of the many small, family-owned businesses that operate over all corners of Glasgow! If you find a cute, hand-painted sign, adorned with the name of the cafe’s locality (Queen’s Café, University Cafe, Langside Cafe etc.) then you know that you’re in store for some homemade ice cream and greasy food. Classic and responsible hangover cure. They will also have hot filled rolls for those who prefer something stodgier after drinking. A definite excuse to travel to the southside, and a more wholesome alternative to a sub crawl if you can travel to each one.


In Glaswegian ‘Piece’ means a sandwich. There is this place called Piece on Argyle Street that has the ‘piece’ down to an art. Worth the walk. Other good places for pieces include:

  • Roast - Argyle Street - They are sandwich shamen.
  • Seitan’s Lot - Woodlands - Vegan sandwiches, they have a couple of different flavour seitans and different degrees of fancy fillings/bread to choose from. All of them are great.


The single best choice for a quick lunch during a day at uni is the 2 for £1.20 samosa deal at Garden Fresh Exotics on Park Road, just off Great Western Road. It’s about 15 minutes there and back from the library and they’re made fresh daily so they’re super crispy.


Are you wanting to try Scottish delicacies but your pesky vegan principles are getting in the way? Rose & Grants In the Trongate is the answer to your problems. They do an amazing vegan square sausage, as well as a Scotch pie with beans. They also have this faux cream cheese and smoked salmon bagel which will change your life.


But you can eat in these delicious restaurants that makes Glasgow the self proclaimed vegan capital of the UK

  • The 78
  • Mono
  • The Flying Duck
  • Stereo
  • 13th Note
  • Suissi Vegan Asian Kitchen
  • The Hug & Pint - "Boozy Brunch" - 3 Dishes & 3 Drinks - £20
  • Soul Food Kitchen - Quite possibly the healthiest establishment in the city
  • Seitan's Lot - Food Truck serving quality vegan junk food


There are 3 types of people in the world (Glasgow): people who like Shawarma King; people who like Lazores; and people who prefer Kurdish. All 3 of them are great and bring different things to Glasgow’s shawarma or falafel game, but there are some other places that rival them for a falafel wrap:

  • Falafel to go - £3, all the toppings and one of the soundest guys in glasgow - a literal hole in the wall wedged in the side of the savoy centre - the council wants to close them to put up some sushi restaurant in the building it’s in, so go and show your support for Glasgow’s best hole in the wall!
  • Braw Falafel - a new addition to Glasgow’s merchant city and only £2.50
  • Scherezade - round the corner from Glasgow Uni. Coming in at £2.75 it’s got the falafel price upgrade of any West-End establishment, but it’s incredibly convenient for library lunches & also a great source of high quality, low price baklava and tinned Dolmades.


Record Collecting isn’t a particularly advisable hobby for cash-strapped students, but here are some of our favourite places to dig in Glasgow.
Oxfam Music - Byres Road - Great for 2nd hand CDs, tapes, and records
Mixed Up - Otago Lane - Perfectly located between Chai Ovna (a specialist tea cafe) and Voltaire & Rousseau (the greatest 2nd hand book-shop/fire-risk in Glasgow’s West End)
Palais De Danse - 118 Sauchiehall Street - Single room record store in an attic of Sauchiehall Street that is helping out in more ways than one in forcing Glasgow’s 2nd hand vinyl enthusiasts to exercise.
Rubadub - Your go to stop for electronic music. Can seem a bit intimidating from the outside, but everyone who works there is actually really friendly and really keen to help. Plus, students can get 10% off so face your fears and step inside.


If you’re tired of prowling around pawn shops for cheap (read: stolen) guitars/things that make noise, take a look online. There are several websites and Facebook groups allowing you to buy things from other cash-strapped students and drug addicts, that offer higher quality and better price. The two main groups in Glasgow are: ‘Music gear buy/sell in Glasgow/Edinburgh’ (for general music things) and ‘Glasgow DJ gear & vinyl for sale/trade’ (for more specific dance items). From what we’ve seen, they are much better than the equivalent groups in most cities. If what you want isn’t on there, try Craigslist or Gumtree, but remember that most things on these Facebook groups will be reposted on these two, often at a higher price.

2nd Hand

I read a statistic the other day that it takes as much water to make a new t-shirt and pair of jeans as a human being drinks in 13 years (I’m not sure if that’s continuously or following the 1.5 litres a day rule). Either way, that’s a staggering statistic and an unnecessary use of water that we should be trying to cut-down. Be cool and original - buy second hand! There is no better way to pull through a hangover afternoon, or distract yourself from the fact that you’re missing yet another lecture, than with some ethical retail therapy. Here are some of our favourites, but you should dig about & constantly allow time to drop in to charity shops for the best finds. British Red Cross - Byres Road - This shop gets deliveries from unsold/ slightly damaged clothes from the COS in town. It’s on the more expensive side of charity shop price-range, but a good hack for the glamourous.
The Glasgow Vintage Co - Great Western Road - First stop shop for your supply of 2nd hand levis.
Mr Bens - Trongate - This well established vintage shop next to vegan bar & record store, MONO, stocks vintage goods of varying prices. There’s also lots of other, smaller vintage shops dotted around the Trongate that stock some real gems that are well worth exploring if you’re willing to accept you’ll probably have to wash out/ embrace the *damp* smell that you generally carry out the shop with you.
Shelter - Byres Road & Great Western Road - Shelter is always a good charity shop to jump into on your way to/from uni & snap up a cheap woolen turtle-neck to add to your (probably already extensive) selection.
As an important side-note, remember that you can also buy 2nd hand furniture, crockery, cutlery, cooking utensils, books, and art in charity shops. It’s much more interesting and economical to decorate/kit out your flat/ Murano kitchen with charity shop finds than to spend lots of money in Ikea when you arrive (but you can still go there for the meatballs).


Often after arriving in Glasgow you will want to let people know that you live here. An easy way to do this is to buy a t-shirt that says ‘Glasgow’ on it from the University shop. But if you want to support the local economy, consider looking up SF Glasgow on Ask Jeeves or Bing. They’re a locally-run clothing label that is beloved by skaters and people that like soft drugs. Their sweaters and hats are doubly excellent, and will last you a lifetime. Also if you are a boy an SF Brand jumper will make you 100% more attractive to girls, as they are highly coveted by girls that steal their boyfriends clothes. Although, if your attractiveness is 0 a 100% increase will mean that you are still a 0.


We’re not going to tell you! There are places that are open between 4am and 10am, but they are illegal and could be dangerous. For more information, try and make friends with someone that has the glazed look of a long-term party-goer. Failing that, you can go to the casino or a friend’s house.


So you want to watch live music in Glasgow but have no idea where to start? Lucky for you, you now live amongst one of the most vibrant music scenes in the UK. Glasgow has so much music and of such a variety that I could keep writing till my dissertation is due and I still wouldn’t cover it all, so here are a few select tidbits of the juiciest musical locales in Glasgow!

For big shows, SWG3 is a swiss army knife of independent venues, hosting big out of town bands in its 1000+ capacity venue alongside smaller bands in its four other spaces.

Barrowland Ballroom: It’s a classic, it’s been around for several ice ages, your dad probably saw the Cure there once in 1984 and won’t shut up about it, but he has got a point. Unlike the shiny, sleek, aerodynamic affairs of modern venues, the Barras is an experience; from the blaring neon sign out front, to the well worn bannisters and toilets stained with generations of urine. It’s also got a bouncy floor.

St Lukes: It’s a venue, in a church, need we say more?

If you’re after smaller venues then Broadcast and Stereo are the ones to watch, they often put on indie/alternative bands and both have great bars upstairs.

King Tut’s is another Glasgow stalwart. Small, but puts on big name bands for those shows where you want to see the whites of your favourite band’s eyes.

Though a little further out from the West End in Trongate, Mono is well worth a visit; not just for the outstanding roster of live music but also for the cafe and community space that is used for all sorts of events from Art showings to Zine fairs. In particular I highly recommend checking out the Freakender events that are on every year in September.

Hug and Pint: Come for the music, stay for the food (and the music). I cannot recommend this venue enough for a dinner/gig combo, and it’s really close to Uni, located on Great Western Road.

For local music, you can’t go wrong with Nice n’ Sleazy, plus chances are someone from your university accommodation will put on their first night there.

The other great local spot is The Old Hairdressers, which can be a little confusing as this bar has no indication there is any music going on when you walk in. But if you weave your way upstairs you will find a great little space that specializes in putting on Glasgow’s best local bands.


Don’t! Go! To! Polo! While it is totally possible to have a good time there, as an institution they are bad and don’t deserve your support. They are well known for exclusively catering to cis, white, able-bodied, gay men. New scandals happen regularly with just one example being their recent booking of a drag queen who’d proudly performed at a Tommy Robinson demo!! It’s also part of the G1 group who own half of Glasgow and are the literal worst. If you don’t believe me ask basically any people of colour/trans people/women about their experiences there. Basically, what we’re saying here is that they are well overdue a boycott.

You’re generally better off going to specific nights. Shoot Your Shot is a reliably great monthly staple, especially popular with women and trans people. The music is always good and so are their performers like resident drag swamp beast Shrek 666. They also make sure to have gender neutral toilets wherever they host a party. Hot Mess is popular with boys who like to dance with their tops off and is generally welcoming and inclusive. Bum Notes is a queer karaoke night and a personal favourite. Other ones pop up all the time so keep your eyes peeled, join the Queer Events Glasgow Facebook group and if you just want to go somewhere fun with gender neutral toilets where you probably won’t get harassed, then whatever’s on at The Art School is usually a good bet.


Not many bars or clubs in Glasgow have permanently gender neutral toilets, although most will if they have an event where the promoter asks for it (if you are a promoter please do this). Most cafes do (generally because they only have one toilet anyway), but the only drinking/ club establishments with permanent gender neutral toilets are the Art School, The CCA and Bananamoon. All very nice places but a little pricey. Places like Bloc+ and The Flying Duck make a point about their toilets being trans-inclusive, but that’s not quite as helpful for non-binary people.


Tingle is a shot bar in town that has the most incredible section of 1.50 shots and other cheap drinks. The place is always packed so you can’t last long but it is my last stop before heading to any of the clubs in town. While I’m professing my sins. I love Driftwood too. It’s beside clubs off sauchiehall st like Berkeley Suite and Art School. The drinks are 89p and the music is like a DJ at your aunts wedding.


Glasgow Autonomous Space (GAS) is a space mostly used for community and leftist groups to gather. They also sometimes host all kinds of events including gigs and parties where the proceeds go to help fund the space. They are usually really nice, and fun, and worth going to. Civic House is another community orientated space that puts on nice parties, gigs, workshops and educational activities that are very worth going to. They also do ridiculously good lunch tues-fri for only £5!


  • Monday - you will struggle to find live jazz on Mondays but why not head down to Oxfam Music on Byres Road and browse the jazz sections and perhaps you’ll pick up a classic to enjoy at home (how else will your flatmates know that you are more intellectual and mature than they are?).
  • Tuesday - Slouch Bar 10 pm till late and open till 3 am! For those who like their jazz served after midnight.
  • Wednesday - The Rio Café 8pm and open till midnight, friendly café bar with reasonable prices and frequent entertainment and events, recommended.
  • Thursday - Dukes Bar 8pm and open till midnight – lively small bar with an often young crowd and many jazz events. The Clash busked outside here once but that was ages ago, still highly recommended.
  • Friday - The Baby Grand - a piano bar and restaurant with jazz piano on Fridays, open till midnight.
  • Saturday - Avant Garde (trad jazz) 2.30-5.30pm but closes at midnight
  • Sunday - The Three Judges (trad jazz usually) 3-6pm and closes midnight.
    The 78 9pm closes at 1am – the best jazz night for me, it’s a busy one so head down early to get a seat and for one of the best vegan menus in town.
Special jazz note to Lucky Seven next to Flat 0/1 on Bath Street for the Jazz nights they run on the 3rd Thursday of every month. Described by Subcity’s live music fiend, Troy, as ‘something special‘. Apparently, if you’re good enough, these guys even let you join in.


  • The Art School
  • Stereo
  • La Cheetah
  • Nice 'N' Sleazy
  • The African Art Centre
  • Berkeley Suite
  • Room 2
  • Rost
  • GAS
  • Civic House


Foreign students sometimes have it rough. If you’re looking to rent, or moving out of Murano, you will often need a guarantor. This is someone who will pay your rent if something goes wrong, and must be UK-based. The easy way to get around this is to date a British person (sorry). That way you can get their parents to hook you up, and Boris Johnson will be left scratching at the door like an ugly cat who only loves you for the food you give it. An easier way is to make a British friend, and tell the landlord you are dating.

P.S. Regardless of nationality, a banker’s draft for 6 months rent in advance is universally accepted even if it’s coming from outside the country. If your parents have money that they would willingly pay now (or your student loan comes in one big chunk), instead of in instalments over 6 months, you can avoid all difficulties through the power of £££££. Assuming an average rent is £400 p.c.m. (per calendar month), you would pay £2400.


Struggling to adjust to your new life as a Student? Not sure if your courses are the right ones? Feeling homesick? Or maybe isolated by the bleak surroundings of your new halls of residence? Talk to someone! Any university support services are always stretched thin and are never going to be perfect; but in comparison to others The University of Glasgow isn’t that bad!

To get the ball rolling if you think seeking support is the right thing for you, get your name on the waiting list! There is a long wait… 6 months or more most of the time. After this the University Counselling and Psychological services can offer you 5 sessions of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which is great for some people, but it’s not for everyone, so don’t be disheartened if this doesn’t work for you. There are plenty of external resources, endorsed by the University which can be found through the Counselling and Psychological services (their office is located on Southpark Avenue just behind the Fraser building).

If you have a diagnosed Mental Health condition it may be useful to request a Doctor’s note from your GP at home to this effect so you are seen promptly by the relevant service.

If you need to be seen urgently always go to your GP (Ashton Medical Practice, 3 Ashton Road, or Radnor Street Surgery in Finnieston are great GPs to register with because the University Clinic is always busy and only offer on the day appointments which usually fill up before 8:30am!!). Alternatively if you can’t wait there is a self referral process where you can call from 9am which runs on a first come first serve basis.

The most important thing to remember is its OK to not be OK. The university wants you to succeed! Go and talk to your college academic advisory team, there are peer mentors available and most courses are very willing to extend your deadlines if you’re struggling - you just have to ask (and sometimes provide a medical note for longer extensions). Most importantly, remember you’re not alone. It’s so normal to feel a little out of sorts at the beginning of University and talking to your new friends may seem daunting but they are going through the same experience you are. Don’t hesitate to reach out.

Useful Contacts:
Counselling and Psychological Services 0141 330 4528
External Services
Big White Wall


With condoms available for free everywhere, the wonderful NHS has waved its magic wand and made sexual protection available for everyone. However, if things go wrong or you are worried you can (and should) always make an appointment with your GP (or any) doctor. Testing is free in most cases, and always confidential. Your GP will be able to test for chlamydia and gonorrhea but for other tests you may need to go somewhere else depending on which GP you go to. Sandyford is a specialised sexual health centre located on Sauchiehall Street offering everything to do with sexual health, short of the deed itself. Unfortunately, they are so underfunded that waiting times can be months long, unless you tell them you think you might’ve been exposed to something, in which case you can usually get an appointment much quicker. The Terrence Higgins Trust also have a clinic in town where they offer HIV testing on a walk-in basis.

Council Tax

Students don’t pay council tax. If you receive a letter asking you to pay council tax, don’t worry. All that you have to do is go to Student Services and ask for a form to fill in. They will help you with every step of the process. If you prefer not having to leave your room, you can also apply to be exempt online at Glasgow City Council's website. If you receive a letter saying you have not paid for the past 6 months (with a huge bill attached), again don’t worry. During your time as a student you will never pay council tax (not even during summer). However, you will have to submit a new form every time you move home/ flat which is best to do early on so you can avoid the fear inducing bill you may receive 6 months down the line. .

Release your inhibitions, feel the tears on your skin: Best Places to Cry On & Around Campus

Stevenson building pool steam room
The south flagpole (for the melodramatic)
The flagpole at the top of the hill on Ruchill park (for the loud criers) Library level 7 toilets (the faux wood veneer on the stalls is very calming)

List of known microwaves on campus for student use

Physics common room
Maths common room
Rumour has it that every level of the library has a one



Getting Out

I once read somewhere that Glasgow was "a beautiful place to get out of". This is very true. You can get trains to the relative wilderness, you can cycle to the relative wilderness, you could probably swim up the Clyde to the relative wilderness but might incur Weil's disease - the possibilities are endless. Loch Lomond is normie but a classic, you can cycle out the Forth & Clyde canal (big bonus it's a canal so flat af), bag some munros, day trip to Troon, walk the 100 miles of the West Highland Way after a guy you like ghosts you etc. Just bring a raincoat every time.


The best set of traffic lights in all of Glasgow can be found connecting the West End to the City Centre. They are perfectly timed to ensure maximum pleasure for both pedestrians and cars, and walking across them is like walking on a cloud full of green lights. They are a certain 10/10, and the person who designed them is an unsung hero. If you don’t like traffic lights, there is also a pedestrian overpass so you can look at all the people enjoying the traffic lights below. The five points of the intersection are like a star gently shooting rays of pleasantness all over Glasgow, sending cars and drunks on their merry way.


If you want to trade your puny human legs for rubber circumferencised ones, consider buying a bike. It’s a much faster way to get around, and you can pretend that you are the pinnacle of human speed and grace. It’s also great for swearing at cars without fear of repercussions (aside from death). A nice place to buy a bike is the Bike Station (Haugh Rd). They’re cheap, second-hand bicycles that are lovingly restored by the people that work there, and prices start at around £80, including a 3 month free(!) warranty. If that sounds too expensive, the ‘for sale’ section on Gumtree has a huge selection too.


People will tell you not to use private hire because? snobbery? Black Hackney cabs are great and feel very fancy, and you can hail an unoccupied one wherever (unlike private hire) but they can also be quite pricey, especially after midnight. Good private hire companies include; Network (cheap, unreliable, but by far the best taxi app in Glasgow) Hampden Cabs (best for Southside), Arrow Cars, West End Radio Cars. Uber is ok if you don’t give a shit about worker rights, and the maps and stuff are nice, but you’ll struggle to get one that’s not surged even at the best of times. Sometimes cheaper, sometimes not, it’s a real gamble.


Contrary to popular opinion, the ice-cream van that goes around Murano and the West End does NOT sell drugs. Anyone who tells you they bought an 1/8th of AAA grade hash last year from the old man that owns it is a dirty liar who is trying to impress you. The ice-cream van sells ice cream, basic essentials, and cigarettes under the counter. Sometimes they have a slushie-machine, but only the red flavour. Sorry.


Posters for upcoming events are everywhere. Sometimes you will be at the event itself, and want to take home a memento. Sometimes you will just want to take it. The unspoken rule for taking club posters home is simple: if the event has already happened, go for it. Taking a poster for an event that hasn’t happened yet means that the promoter has to put another one up, costing them money and meaning they might not get as many people in.

How to spend 0 money and still somewhat enjoy yourself

Though there’s no ethical consumption in global capitalism, here’s some advice from one anti-consumerist, A to another, B.


A: here, what can I do to entertain myself that is free? today was the first of many days where I drift aimlesslhighlights purpose.

B: ex-friendless poor first year me can help u here
i just walked
i walked the whole subway loop
took photos

A: ok
sounds fun

B: like 10 mile walks
around town
but up into the m8 or wherever
there are a lotta buildings you can get into

A: wut fun is to be had

B: i swam a lot
libraries are amazing
hillhead is still my fave place to be sometimes
and great

A: ok, I'm gonna have to relearn how to read

B: organise your itunes

A: Ye

B: cook
like stuff that takes two hours
and that you can freeze

A: Cooking costs money

B: nah
not lentils

A: Mmmm good idea

B: lentils tin tomatoes brown sugar chili powder tins of mixed beans
fuckin recipe made in heaven
stay in the savoy centre over one cup of tea for three hours
develop a thing where you create a hashtag for when you find interesting litter on your ten mile walks around the m8
amass instagram followers

A: All good ideas

B: i swim a lot cause i have a gym membership
so thats a fun ~kinda free~ activity that i do

A: I might do running

B: i used to run along the maryhill canal whenever i was angry
it was great
i did it like twice cause i fucking hate running
but it's a nice route

A: Mmm

B: and i was really angry

A: Rage pavement bashing

B: i hadnt run for literally 4 years
and i ran like 7k
in one direction
then i was stuck like miles out
towards fucking paisley or some shit

A: Haha

B: i had to walk back in the dark

A: Poor planning


In summary/addition, here is a list of free things:

  • Running far away along a canal
  • Meticulously organising your iTunes
  • Art Galleries
  • Walking
  • Libraries