Eldorado: The Road to Liquid Gold

Eldorado is like Buckfast but cheaper. A half/full bottle is £2.99/£5.99, compared to £4.50/7.49 for Buckfast. As 4 years of business school may eventually teach you, 5.99 is less than 7.49. It tastes like an ice cream float, but with red wine instead of Coca-Cola. You can buy it at the big yellow off-license on Great Western road.

Drinking may lead to exercise

Glasgow doesn’t have a glass bottle collection scheme. Nor does it have bins for glass bottles in your apartment. Also, you can’t put glass in the recycling bin. As many of you will note, this is not ideal for a nation of alcoholics. Instead, to ease ‘the fear’, Glasgow City Council has helpfully provided glass recycling centres dotted around town, denoted by big bins with glass-shaped holes to put glass-shaped things in. Dragging a big bag of glass bottles through town is highly recommend for lapsed Catholics who miss feeling guilty about everything. You can find out where the recycling points are on the Glasgow Council website.

10 to 10

Alcohol in Glasgow is sold for consumption off-premises (i.e. not in a bar) between 10am and 10pm. There are no exceptions to this rule. It is strictly enforced, so don’t even try to ask the cashier. The fine for selling alcohol outside of these hours is astronomical. There are mythical services that will deliver alcohol after these hours, but note that delivery of alcohol is illegal between 10pm and 6am, and these services are often quickly shut down by the police. After 6 it will probably be ok, maybe.

Coffee Cons

You can’t expect to get very far in a car without petrol, obviously. The same science has been applied to students’ bodies, using coffee instead of fossil fuels. You may be content to get cheap shitty coffee from the library, or god forbid, coffee machines dotted round campus (£1), but that’s like trying to put regular petrol into a dragster. (Extended car metaphor) You need to strike the balance between frugality and flavour. The ultimate measure of coffee taste is whether or not it needs sugar in it to be drinkable, good coffee won’t need sugar in it.

Greggs (fuckin’ everywhere mate) is clearly less independent and responsible than most of the other coffee places you can go to, but they make a half decent coffee, against all the odds. You can get a coffee with a cake or bake for £2.15, but be wary of huge queues in the morning and at lunch, and bratty school kids.

Artisan Roast (Gibson St) is an independent coffeeshop, serving very strong coffee and raw/vegan food. It’s on the cheaper side of the independents, and it’s always quite busy. It has a nice atmosphere and has free wi-fi too, and so is a good alternative to the library on busy days. The basement flat underneath it used to have a cannabis farm in it which made the customers feel woozy but that has since been shut-down.

Papercup (Great Western Road) is another independent coffeeshop not too far from the campus either. If you’re feeling a bit fancy the food here is pretty good too. Amy recommends Avocado toast with a poached egg on the side. They also offer oat milk for your coffees as well that’s pretty hip these days. Makes for really good insta photos.


Are shit. Please buy anything else.