Release your inhibitions, feel the tears on your skin: Best Places to Cry On & Around Campus

Stevenson building pool steam room
The south flagpole (for the melodramatic)
The flagpole at the top of the hill on Ruchill park (for the loud criers) Library level 7 toilets (the faux wood veneer on the stalls is very calming)

List of known microwaves on campus for student use

Physics common room
Maths common room
Rumour has it that every level of the library has a one



Getting Out

I once read somewhere that Glasgow was "a beautiful place to get out of". This is very true. You can get trains to the relative wilderness, you can cycle to the relative wilderness, you could probably swim up the Clyde to the relative wilderness but might incur Weil's disease - the possibilities are endless. Loch Lomond is normie but a classic, you can cycle out the Forth & Clyde canal (big bonus it's a canal so flat af), bag some munros, day trip to Troon, walk the 100 miles of the West Highland Way after a guy you like ghosts you etc. Just bring a raincoat every time.


The best set of traffic lights in all of Glasgow can be found connecting the West End to the City Centre. They are perfectly timed to ensure maximum pleasure for both pedestrians and cars, and walking across them is like walking on a cloud full of green lights. They are a certain 10/10, and the person who designed them is an unsung hero. If you don’t like traffic lights, there is also a pedestrian overpass so you can look at all the people enjoying the traffic lights below. The five points of the intersection are like a star gently shooting rays of pleasantness all over Glasgow, sending cars and drunks on their merry way.


If you want to trade your puny human legs for rubber circumferencised ones, consider buying a bike. It’s a much faster way to get around, and you can pretend that you are the pinnacle of human speed and grace. It’s also great for swearing at cars without fear of repercussions (aside from death). A nice place to buy a bike is the Bike Station (Haugh Rd). They’re cheap, second-hand bicycles that are lovingly restored by the people that work there, and prices start at around £80, including a 3 month free(!) warranty. If that sounds too expensive, the ‘for sale’ section on Gumtree has a huge selection too.


People will tell you not to use private hire because? snobbery? Black Hackney cabs are great and feel very fancy, and you can hail an unoccupied one wherever (unlike private hire) but they can also be quite pricey, especially after midnight. Good private hire companies include; Network (cheap, unreliable, but by far the best taxi app in Glasgow) Hampden Cabs (best for Southside), Arrow Cars, West End Radio Cars. Uber is ok if you don’t give a shit about worker rights, and the maps and stuff are nice, but you’ll struggle to get one that’s not surged even at the best of times. Sometimes cheaper, sometimes not, it’s a real gamble.


Contrary to popular opinion, the ice-cream van that goes around Murano and the West End does NOT sell drugs. Anyone who tells you they bought an 1/8th of AAA grade hash last year from the old man that owns it is a dirty liar who is trying to impress you. The ice-cream van sells ice cream, basic essentials, and cigarettes under the counter. Sometimes they have a slushie-machine, but only the red flavour. Sorry.


Posters for upcoming events are everywhere. Sometimes you will be at the event itself, and want to take home a memento. Sometimes you will just want to take it. The unspoken rule for taking club posters home is simple: if the event has already happened, go for it. Taking a poster for an event that hasn’t happened yet means that the promoter has to put another one up, costing them money and meaning they might not get as many people in.

How to spend 0 money and still somewhat enjoy yourself

Though there’s no ethical consumption in global capitalism, here’s some advice from one anti-consumerist, A to another, B.


A: here, what can I do to entertain myself that is free? today was the first of many days where I drift aimlesslhighlights purpose.

B: ex-friendless poor first year me can help u here
i just walked
i walked the whole subway loop
took photos

A: ok
sounds fun

B: like 10 mile walks
around town
but up into the m8 or wherever
there are a lotta buildings you can get into

A: wut fun is to be had

B: i swam a lot
libraries are amazing
hillhead is still my fave place to be sometimes
and great

A: ok, I'm gonna have to relearn how to read

B: organise your itunes

A: Ye

B: cook
like stuff that takes two hours
and that you can freeze

A: Cooking costs money

B: nah
not lentils

A: Mmmm good idea

B: lentils tin tomatoes brown sugar chili powder tins of mixed beans
fuckin recipe made in heaven
stay in the savoy centre over one cup of tea for three hours
develop a thing where you create a hashtag for when you find interesting litter on your ten mile walks around the m8
amass instagram followers

A: All good ideas

B: i swim a lot cause i have a gym membership
so thats a fun ~kinda free~ activity that i do

A: I might do running

B: i used to run along the maryhill canal whenever i was angry
it was great
i did it like twice cause i fucking hate running
but it's a nice route

A: Mmm

B: and i was really angry

A: Rage pavement bashing

B: i hadnt run for literally 4 years
and i ran like 7k
in one direction
then i was stuck like miles out
towards fucking paisley or some shit

A: Haha

B: i had to walk back in the dark

A: Poor planning


In summary/addition, here is a list of free things:

  • Running far away along a canal
  • Meticulously organising your iTunes
  • Art Galleries
  • Walking
  • Libraries